Skills I don’t list on my CV

My CV is full (overstatement alert) of qualifications, achievements and skills that a potential employer might want to see. However,  I have some skills and achievements that I quite proud of, and would like to include on a sort of alternative CV. Here’s a taster:

  • I am an expert at deciphering cry-talking. I know exactly what people are saying when crying hysterically – a skill perfected by having a highly-strung little sister. The skill is transferable to other people and can be utilised on phone calls.
  • I have the ability to deploy ‘the look’. People talk about ‘the look’ in hushed tones. The recipient of ‘the look’ usually immediately reassesses their behaviour. Occasionally also works on cats.
  • I can identify most of the first generation of Pokemon from their silhouettes and don’t usually have to look up type weaknesses on Bulbapedia. This is a consequence of being a 90s child who was denied a Game Boy and made up for it in later life.
  • I have an extremely high hit rate of knowing exactly when meals are ready just by the smell. This skill has been developed because I’m a ridiculous glutton and food is my happiness.

Cats are also masters of ‘the look’.

There are more. I might develop this further.